Oh that pesky cell phone!

Hi, Susan:

Question... What is the best way for me to carry my cellphone in the office? Namely, when I go to meetings, I like to have my cellphone with me - partly so my kids' school can contact me in the event of an emergency - but also because I have a smartphone so I keep my schedule in my phone. So, inevitably at the end of every meeting, we schedule the next meeting and I need my phone.

Since the meetings are often down the hall, I don't need to carry my purse with me (and would feel ridiculous if I did so), but I usually have other things to carry (e.g., files, books, notepads) that throwing a phone on the top of the pile (and yes, I have dropped the phone before) this sometimes leaves me to do an unprofessional balancing act.

Because my phone is too big to fit in my pocket - or, if I'm wearing a skirt, I don't have pockets... I don't know how to deal with this. Is it 'wrong' to clip my phone to my waistband?

Help!

Shauna

There are really two answers here, aren't there? On is the simple, straightforward, "No, it's fine if you clip the phone to your waistband! Thanks for writing! Have a great day!"

Except that under NO circumstances should Shauna clip her phone to her waistband. EVER. And that goes for the rest of you too.

Shauna's question is interesting because she's NOT just toting her phone to a meeting -- she has a whole armload of stuff that she has to bring along, PLUS the phone. If you're carrying, say, ONE file folder and your phone, then you don't need to worry about the phone, right, because you can easily carry that. But if you're taking a pile of files and books and notepads -- well, honey, you need a bag.

I can understand why Shauna doesn't want to grab her purse for this -- after all, she doesn't need all the OTHER stuff that's in her purse, like her lipstick and her Purell and whatever the kids have handed her to keep for them. But she DOES need some way to manage that pile, and to keep her cell phone safe and contained.


Merona work tote, $29.99

I would suggest that Shauna get a simple tote bag that she can keep in her office. Nothing cute or flowery or frilly, just something in a basic black or brown, with a clean shape. Make sure it is large enough to hold the biggest pile that might need to be toted to a meeting, but not so large that a small child could hide out in it. Load up the necessities for the meeting, toss the phone in, and go. No dropping anything, no struggling to balance a huge pile, and no phone laying on the table during the meeting.

And NO big bulky thing clipped to the waistband of a perfectly nice skirt.

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Does anyone still wear a slip?

I had a group of girls to the beach in February and we went out to dinner that Saturday night. Some of us were in dresses, some were in jeans or trousers. Somehow the topic of slips came up – as in, none of them wore slips. There I was, in my jersey dress -- complete with slip underneath – jaw agape, wondering if their mothers knew. Susan, I wear a slip with any sort of dress or skirt. Period. I feel like the world can tell when I do not!

Am I just old for my time?

Crist


Like what you see? Details are at Polyvore.com.

A few years back, the New York Times carried a piece on the Return of the Slip. The gist of it was this: as a backlash against low rise pants and exposed thongs, the slip was coming back into style, not as outerwear (we've all seen THAT look) but as underwear.

With a twist, though: the women interviewed in the Times were wearing their slips in such a way that they could be seen -- peeking out of the top of a blouse or flashing in the vent of a skirt.

Bah. I disapprove of that; it's just another variation on the thong that peeks out over the top of the jeans.

It's also not what Crist was asking.

Do YOU wear a slip? How often? Why? Or why not?

I don't own a slip; I opt instead for control-top stockings, for dress up, or microfiber undies, for more casual wear. But I can see the appeal of the slip, both in terms of modesty (something we have completely lost our sense of these days) and practicality.

I'll be back later with my theories about why the slip has fallen out of vogue as an undergarment, but first I really DO want to know what YOU are wearing under your skirts and dresses.

Ready ... go.

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Tuesday links! Because you NEED TO KNOW these things

Spring is almost here! Make your wardrobe work for you by layering.

No more yoga pants! Pants for your work-at-home day.

Hmm, what have I found for you THIS week? Well ...


Like what you see? Details are at Polyvore.com.

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How long is too long? Let's talk hemlines

Recently I've been forced to go shopping for pants and jeans, because my current ones are falling apart (literally, in the case of my beloved white cords). And I've come upon quite a dilemma in that age-old issue--hems. At 5'2" and a size 0/1, the short lengths of most pants are just a TINY bit too long to wear with flats--which are, as Murphy's Law dictates, practically all I wear. We're not even going to get into the issue of fitting my non-existent hips. Anyway! My question is: How badly do I sin if I wear these almost-right pants/jeans with flats anyway? They're like 1 cm away from being the perfect length, and I can't bear/afford to spend $$$ at the tailor's for such a tiny hemming. I also don't own a sewing machine or any possess any skill in that craft...

Lisa

Lisa's dilemma is a pretty common one: the standard hem lengths for off-the-rack jeans and pants are only rarely the exact right length for most of us. The goal is to find pants that are either dramatically too long and have them hemmed, or pants that are close enough and live with it.


Abercrombie and Fitch Erin skinny jeans, $79.50

Trying to hem pants that are only a wee bit too long (Lisa says a centimeter, and I know exactly what she means) is both a waste of money and a waste of time; it's difficult for even a really great tailor to get a hem that small right, particularly on corduroys and jeans. As long as Lisa isn't stepping on her trousers when she walks, she can let that little extra go.

An added bonus for Lisa is that a slightly longer trouser leg, one that breaks over her foot, will make her legs look longer; since she's petite, this is a good thing. She should look for skinny jeans, too, which will give her the illusion of hips, creating some curves on her small frame.

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Can a commuting mommy carry an ivory leather tote? Of course!

I just bought a Cole Haan ivory purse (the medium village tote). It was sort of an impulse...the purse itself and definitely the color. It is my first "expensive" purse that was not a gift. I'm usually a black/brown purse kind of gal, but I'm trying to break free of this rut. The purse comes in black, orange, and ivory. I don't think I can pull off the orange ... So I chose the ivory.

Was this a huge mistake, as I have a 3 year old and a commute on a not-so-clean train?

The sales lady did treat it with something (and offered to do it periodically for me) and she said that the purse can be sent out for cleaning.

Is it possible to keep an ivory purse clean? Do I have to guard it with my life, never ever put it down, and keep my preschooler far, far away? I plan to use it only for work and not on the weekends (I'm not foolish enough to bring it to the playground!!).

Should I return it? Exchange it for the black?

Thanks for any advice!

Best,
Rebecca


Cole Haan Village tote, Neiman Marcus, $325.00

Rebecca should ABSOLUTELY keep the bag -- an off-white handbag is classic and timeless, and will go with everything. I especially like this bag, as it is both a great utilitarian shape (the tote is the ideal day bag, really) and not a stark white, which makes it a little more versatile (not limited just to summer).

Keeping her bag clean won't be nearly as difficult as Rebecca fears. She can wipe it with a soft, damp cloth to remove basic grime, and can clean it -- gently and carefully -- with saddle soap, for more stubborn stains. She should have it treated once a year, and she can have it professionally cleaned if the bag really needs it.

But honestly, unless something spills all over it, she shouldn't have to worry about that.

Basic strategies for preserving the interior of the bag include putting all cosmetics in a lined, waterproof cosmetic bag; Rebecca might want to carry a second lined bag with other necessities like diaper wipes (perfect for quick cleaning emergencies, on you and your clothes AND your bag), hand sanitizer, and a Tide To Go pen -- anything that might leak. She can also keep one big ziplock bag in the bottom of her purse, for those Mommy Moments when her three-year-old hands her something distasteful that just HAS to go in the bag.

Rebecca should not over clean the bag, or over treat it with protectant; leather is designed to get softer as it breaks in, and the wear on her bag will just make it more lovely and classic. This is a perfect investment piece; I guarantee you that Rebecca will still be carrying this bag in five years. Promise.

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Here, take a survey!

Kathryn Finney (you know her better as the Budget Fashionista) needs your help. Take her annual shopping survey and tell her how YOU shop. "Every year since 2005, we've asked a series of probing, shopping-related questions to friends and readers to get a clear understanding of what folks buy, how much they spend, where they shop, etc. Kathryn analyzes these results and writes a series of reports based on the findings. This year we're particular interested to see what impact, if any, the economy has had on shopping habits." The survey takes five minutes, I promise.

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Tuesday links, for your Wednesday reading pleasure

Are you dressing up for Easter? I want to know why -- and what you're wearing.

What are you wearing to work at home? Please don't say your husband's sweats. Just don't.

Diane Von Furstenburg wants to give you five grand and a trip to NYC! Woo! And this week is DVF week at Fashion Find.

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How to wear a pencil skirt when you're not built like a pencil

Shannon has a question that I think ALL of you have asked once or twice:

Can a curvy girl ever wear a pencil skirt? And by curvy, what I mean is small, petite, short, and fairly slender, but with at least one size difference between waist and hip. I always think pencil skirts look so classic and nice, and then I think, How would I ever find a straight skirt like that to fit my non-straight lower half? Is it A-lines forever, for me? Maybe.

The great myth about pencil skirts is that you have to be build like a pencil to wear one. Since most women have hips (shocking, I know!) pencil skirts are designed to accommodate them. It's simply a matter of finding the RIGHT pencil skirt for you.

And maybe of having some alterations done. But mostly finding the right skirt.


Gap clean pencil skirt, $39.50

Pencil skirts come in various lengths and shapes; what they all have in common is a fairly straight fit through the hips and thighs. If you are built like Shannon, with a smaller waist, you can look either for a pencil skirt that falls lower on the waist (like the Gap skirt pictured here) or higher, up closer to the belly button. The key is to buy a skirt that fits properly through the hips and across the thighs; do not buy anything that is pulling or stretching. Instead, have the waistband taken in.

As with any skirt, look for one that works with your shape. For wider hips, a pencil skirt that falls straight from the widest part will be the most flattering; if you want to create the illusion of curves, look for a skirt that tapers a bit at the hem. A shorter hemline will give you a longer leg line, as will shoes with a wee heel or a pointy toe (or both). A clearly defined waistband will draw the eye to your smallest part and emphasize an hourglass shape.

Just like women's bodies, not all pencil skirts are created equally. But it absolutely IS possible to find one that works for virtually every figure. Try it, even if you are convinced you could never wear one. You might be surprised.

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Tuesday links

Like what you see? Details are at Polyvore.com.

What to wear when you go out.

What to pack when you travel.

Plus, I'm still finding cool stuff for you! You're welcome!

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Tomato, tomahto, capri pants: Let's get our terms straight

Ah, capri pants: the uniform of women everywhere who don't want to wear shorts any more but don't want to die of heat exhaustion during the spring and summer. Chances are, you own a pair (or three) and wear them often. So how do you know if you're wearing the right length and style?

No matter what length hemline you are considering, keep the basic rules in mind: look for a mid-rise, a flat front, and a leg that falls straight from the widest part of your hips. And then take a look at your legs. Yes, really! In order to choose the length that will work for you, be honest about the size and shape of your legs. Unless you are twelve, you probably have hips and thighs; cropped pants that taper, at any length, are not going to be your best look, as they will make your hips and thighs look wider. The slimmest part of your leg is most likely your ankle; chances are you also have pretty nice calves or great knees. Choose cropped pants that emphasize the best part of your legs.

Look for a hemline that hits near the slimmest part of your leg, to draw the eye to that part. Or think about it this way: avoid any hemline that cuts across the wider parts of your leg, as that will make that section look wider. No matter what length pants or shorts you choose, steer clear of cuffs; they will cut your legs off and make them look shorter, which isn't what we're going for.


YES: wide-hem cropped pants, Talbots, $66.00

So what exactly constitute "capri pants"? Let's get our terms (and hems) straight.

Shorts hit above the knee; the most flattering length falls somewhere between the knee and the slimmest part of your thigh. If you opt for a shorter length, be sure to check the hem when you are sitting to be sure you're not showing anything you might not want to show. Shorts are always casual wear, but a longer hemline is more polished and less picnic-y than the shorter option.

Pedal pushers hit just below the knee. This can be a tough length to wear if you have hips or thighs, as tapered pedal pushers lend themselves to the ice cream cone look (skinny on the bottom but wider through the middle) while wider pedal pushers will make it appear that your hips and thighs sit directly on your calves, making you look a wee bit like a popsicle. Pedal pushers are for casual wear, period.


NO: cuffed capris, Ann Taylor, $58.00

Capri pants hit anywhere from mid-calf to the high ankle. Use caution when wearing capris that hit at the calf; even if you have slim legs -- or slim calves -- pants that cut across the widest part of your calves will make them look, well, wide. Look for a hemline that hits at the slimmest part of your calf for the slimmest possible leg line; opt for a straight or slightly wider leg to balance hips and thighs. Pair with sandals or flats with a low vamp, again for the longest possible leg line.

Cropped pants hit at the ankle bone. Always opt for a trouser that hits ABOVE the ankle bone; this way the hemline looks intentional, rather than looking like an unfortunate dryer incident. Cropped pants can be dressed up more easily than any other length, as long as they are not a very casual fabric (velvet, say, rather than cotton). Wear with flats or heels -- more on this tomorrow.

What length will work best for you? That depends on your shape. Look for the hemline that creates the longest, slimmest leg line; don't assume that your capris make your legs look slimmer just because they cover more leg than a pair of shorts. Sometimes shorter really is better, and sometimes, longer is.

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From the email bag: What to wear with capri pants

I teach third grade in a private school, and during the spring, many of my co-workers wear capri pants. I have several pairs, but I've never felt as if the shoes I wear strike the right balance between professional and casual. Our dress code is basically "look sharp"-- no open-toe sandals, and dressy jeans are allowed about twice a year. Obviously, I'm on my feet most of the day, so I need comfort. Additionally, I have to be able to move quickly on the playground if there's an emergency. I can't have shoes that fly off my feet if I run to help a hurt child.

Do you have any recommendations?

Thanks,
Mary

Let's start with a couple of basic rules about capri pants for work: keep hem length closer to the ankle than the knee. Shorter capris are more casual (like long shorts rather than short pants) and less flattering (anything that hits at the widest part of the calf emphasizes the widest part of the calf). The most flattering look is a cropped trouser that falls straight from the widest part of the hip and to just above the ankle bone.

Okay, shoes! Mary wants to find flats that are comfortable and supportive and chic, all at once. I am a huge fan of Berne Mev flats, which come in a nice range of styles and colors, all for about $60.00.


Berne Mev Didi, available in seven colors for $59.50


Berne Mev Daisy, available in seventeen colors for $59.50

Both the Didi Mary Janes and the Daisy flats combine chic details with sturdy construction; these are shoes that Mary can stand and walk and run in all day without discomfort. The Didis come in some great bright colors, and the Daisys are available in metallics and pastels and basic black and brown leather (and black patent, which I LOVE).

Berne Mev also makes a line of cute ballet flats, which are a little dressier but still sturdy; they have the advantage of having a higher vamp (the part across the toes) and are probably less likely to go flying off Mary's feet in the event of a playground emergency.


Englins has the best online selection of Berne Mev shoes, but you can find them in all sorts of little boutiques and in big department stores. And check at Zappos, of course, for the price matching.

The bottom line is this: wee little ballet flats are very very cute with cropped pants, as are fabulous kitten heels. But there are some terrific, sturdier options that are NOT industrial, for women who have to be on their feet and on the go all day. Look for bright colors and great detailing; comfortable and sturdy does NOT have to be bulky and ugly.

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What's in MY closet, right now: My Ten Basics list

Hello! My name is Susan; I am 39, and I work at home. I have two school-age sons. I live in a part of the country where the winters are mild and the summers are miserable.

I don't wear heels; I do wear a lot of vintage and OOAK jewelery.

Okay, seriously, the whole point of this exercise was to look at the ways our wardrobes are tied to our lives -- to who we are and where we live and what we do all day. I don't go to an office; I do go to the park and the grocery and the occasional restaurant. I am nearly 40, so my hemlines hit pretty close to the knee and my stomach is ALWAYS covered up.

This is the list of MY basics, things I really wear, day in and day out, so much so in fact that some of these pieces often go directly from the dryer to my body without even stopping in my closet. These are not necessarily pieces that I think YOU need to wear. Unless you are also a flat-chested 40ish WAHM with a thing for J. Crew. In which case, have at it.

1. Jeans. Dark rinse, mid-rise, boot cut. I am currently sporting the "Flirt" jeans from Old Navy; I had to try on approximately 3.4 million pairs to find TWO that really fit. I also have a pair of skinny jeans that I wear at least twice a week.

2. Chinos. Mid-rise with a classic wide leg, in a basic khaki. I iron them, you all, because I prefer the look. Also because I have issues.

3. Cardigans. Cashmere, cotton, silk; beaded and plain; three-quarter sleeve and long sleeve. They go with EVERYTHING.

4. Button front shirts. Menswear-inspired and tuxedo front, in prints and solids. Typically from J. Crew or the Gap.

5. Turtlenecks. Not those thin cotton ones, though, proper sweaters, with cables, made of wool/cashmere blends. I've opted for charcoal gray instead of black, because it's a little softer.

6. White tees. Short sleeved, crew neck Gap Favorite tees; long-sleeved V neck J. Crew tissue tees.

7. Black skirt. A-line, boucle, just above the knee. From Ann Taylor.

8. Ballet flats. In every possible color and print and material.

9. Pea coat. Black, with a trapeze shape and two buttons and a great collar.

10. Black dress. V neck, empire waist, A-line skirt. I have one for summer (Gap) and one for winter (J. Crew).

And that is pretty much what I wear, every single day. The end.

Tomorrow at BlogHer: a wrap up of YOUR Ten Basics lists!

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Acne + Wrinkles = Life at 40

All grown up and still breaking out? Stop using that kid stuff on your face -- it's not designed for your skin or your breakouts. You need a cleanser with salicylic acid, which is gentler on your skin than typical benzoil peroxide treatments. Use daily, ideally at bedtime; follow with a non-comedogenic moisturizer designed for your skin type. And for heaven's sake, don't sleep in your makeup.



Neutrogena's Oil-Dree Acne Wash is perfect for adult skin that won't grow up but is still growing old. Not that YOU look old, that's not what I mean, YOU look GREAT, it's just that ...

Wrinkles and acne. All at once. Who would ever have guessed?

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Tuesday links: How's that list coming?

Got a blog? Got a closet? Put them together and tell us what you're wearing!

Proving that I'm not totally down on lists: Five ways to work your curvy figure.

And it's Navy Week at Fashion Find.

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What's on YOUR top ten list? Time to tell the Internet

We've been talking about Oprah's Top Ten Basics list, and while most of you took issue with the white denim jacket, Mara got to what I think is the heart of the issue:

I think a lot of these lists don't work that well, because they're too general. You make a good point with the turtleneck-- not everyone looks good in them-- but what about the color? I look bad in black, and the closer the black is to my face, the worse it looks. (I have olive skin and black makes it look sallow and sort of highlights the circles under my eyes. It's hard to explain.) I can wear a black V-neck but never a black turtle, see?

I would feel silly in a white denim jacket, but maybe that's just me.

How about a Must-have Basics List for mid-20-somethings, that includes a great pair of corduroys (in wine, olive, khaki...), a hoodie sweatshirt (not oversized, not shrunken, but fitted), an adorable sundress...

I think Mara is on to something here: what is basic when you're in your 20s may NOT be basic when you're in your 40s or 60s. In the same way, regional differences, which have just as much to do with culture as with weather, will affect what your basics are. To say that there is ONE list of basics that we ALL should shop from is both impractical and limiting. The idea of a series of cornerstone pieces, after all, is to help you streamline your look, not to encourage everyone to dress alike.

So tell me this: what is on YOUR basics list? What ten pieces do you either already own and wear all the time, or find yourself wishing for on a regular basis? Think about variables like your age and location and what you do all day. Look in your closet and your laundry basket and your favorite catalogs. Write up your list, post it at your site, and either leave the link here in the comments or e-mail it to me (fridaystyle.susan@gmail.com). On Saturday, I will round up all the lists at BlogHer and see what the REAL basics are. And I'll post my list here, too.

Keep in mind that the basics are building blocks; they are the foundations of your wardrobe. They are the pieces that work with everything else in your closet, the pieces that are appropriate for almost every place you go. They are the clothes that you wear and wear and wear. They are what gives you a specific, individual look.

Let's hear it. Ten basics from your closet. Ready, go.

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